I write stuff all the time and put it all over the place. Blogs, Facebook, Twitter, Medium, and notes for the podcast. Plus my Morning Pages which no one even reads. The other day, I asked myself, Why do I write? Who is this for? Why do we do any creative endeavor? Because we feel compelled to. Plus, at least for me, I like making people laugh. I also like teaching. This snappy little newsletter is another fun way to do both. 

Initially, when I thought about doing this, I got scared. I’ve started things and asked people to follow them before. There’s no dearth of digital ways for us to ask for support – follow me on here, subscribe here, like this. When you’re a creator trying to get your work in front of people, it can feel like constant favor-asking. Please check it out, we beg our family and friends. 

One of my biggest fears is being a burden on people, so asking for something, even something as simple as subscribing to a newsletter, is scary. But then I got to thinking about the newsletters, podcasts, Twitter feeds, and YouTube channels that I subscribe to. When they publish new stuff, I get excited. And even if I don’t want to read/watch it, I just keep scrolling.

Starting something new is always scary because articulating our wants and desires, especially those held deep and secret-y within us, can feel almost like getting naked in the frozen food aisle at Target. Your bits are out. It’s cold. People around you are gawking. The lights follow you as you move. There is ice cream and frozen pizza. The manager asks you to leave.  

To combat that, we try to stop ourselves, to warn ourselves of the myriad reasons why we are wrong. Self-policing is a crushing force on our creativity. I’m not just talking about writing either. When we set our sights on anything we want to do, our first inclination is to say it sounds silly. It’s too late for me, you tell yourself. Someone has already done that better than me. Who am I to want that? Expressing our desires makes us vulnerable, and in an act of self-preservation, we shit on our own ideas before someone else can.

This is a habit I am trying hard to break. I challenge you to do the same. Remember two things: (1) It’s never too late to do anything. Timelines are a way for THE MAN (aka society aka capitalism) to control us and keep us complacent. (2) Everything has already been done before. Literally everything. Probably by The Simpsons. But if not them, then someone else. The endless cycle of comparison is crippling and can get out of control if we don’t put a tight leash on it. 

Pursuing what we truly want also requires an audacity from ourselves in taking that first step. You imagine faceless critics saying, Who is she to start a business? Who is he to take up dancing? Who are they to quit this job and apply for a new one? Apply for school? Write a screenplay?

But those voices? They’re all dicks. Do your best to ignore them. Make the best thing you can, that only you can make. Who am I to start a newsletter? asked the imaginary judgmental voices in my head when I got going on this. Great question! I am nobody, I guess, but also somebody who has something to say. And somebody who likes thinking about legal questions and talking about Forensic Files.

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This piece first appeared in Sunday Morning Hot Tea No. 1. Subscribe so you don’t miss another piece.