One summer morning, my mom rounded the corner of our hallway and found me, her youngest child, just ten-years-old on the toilet, in turn guzzling soda and grunting."What are we doing now?" she asked, looking from the two-liter bottle of Sprite on the counter to my legs dangling from the toilet."I thought if you ate … Continue reading Oh Baby
It was the fall semester of my sophomore year in high school. 2002. A weird time for anybody - being a sophomore in high school and all. But also a weird time for being an American - being post-9/11 and all.My school was especially hard to navigate as far as cliques was concerned. I was … Continue reading 9/11/2002
Early one morning the week before Christmas I was scrolling through Twitter while drinking coffee. A woman tweeted that she tried showing a clip from the BBC game show Taskmaster to her family while visiting for the holidays. The tweeter's parents watched in silence through all the parts she thought would make them laugh. Her sister pity-scoffed … Continue reading Don’t Look, Ethel!
Bouncing balls. Jumping children. Painted faces. Squeals. Screams. Laughter.Last weekend, Paris and I found ourselves the only childless couple at a four-year-old’s birthday party in a mini gymnasium. Kids flew around the foam-covered floors and walls, flipping and jumping, and sometimes landing upright.One particularly runty kid, the younger sibling of a party attendee, flipped off … Continue reading Hook, Line, and Sucker
It was the first weekend in December 2021, and for the second time in a calendar year, Paris and I were walking through the parking lot of Medieval Times on our way to a matinee show.“We were just here,” I said, but he reminded me it had been months earlier. But was “months earlier” in Medieval Times … Continue reading Journey Back to the Times
When we were little, my sister, Shannon, told me that she knew Santa was real. She had seen Rudolph in real life, so it stood to reason that if Rudolph was real then Santa was, too. I believed her, of course. I was only about five, which would make her about ten. That meant she … Continue reading The Night I Met Santa
One of the best parts about working for myself is doing things at off-hours. Going to the grocery store, for instance, is much less stressful during the day when you’re only there with stay-at-home parents, retired folks, and Instacart shoppers. In that relaxed state, not having to rush around the after-fivers in their rolled-up button-downs … Continue reading Fire Sale on a Life Well Lived
There was a period in my early thirties that I had a lump behind my right ear. Maybe it was there for a year, maybe 5 years. But right at the base of my ear where my lobe dangles near my neck, there once lived a small lump. It was nothing to worry about at … Continue reading Home Remedy
I promise this newsletter is not all about people who die. However, this week is going to be about another person who has died. We lost my high school speech teacher, Coach Copeland, this week. He was a mainstay in my hometown. A beloved football coach. A family man. And a damn fine comedian.I only … Continue reading Vocal Coach
This past week on the Sinisterhood Patreon, we released a new “Am I the Asshole” episode. There is a website on which users ask whether their behavior in interpersonal relationships is or is not acceptable. The other users judge their behavior by voting one of three ways: YTA – you’re the asshole; NTA – not the asshole; … Continue reading Just Desserts
Heather vs. the World 